ABOUT ME

========================================================================Have you ever imagined if you were a cartoon character? I’ve thought about it a lot-- every detail from my hair to my outfit, changing slightly or drastically depending on the day. I use my personal style to express the way I feel. Last week I was feeling bold so I wore 5 inch platform shaker boots. My hair is blonde and I’m starting to get bored with warm colors, so at the end of October, I’m going to dye my hair blue. The more I have fun with my style, the more I feel the pieces come together. Experimenting with my look helps me grow confidence with self expression as a whole.  

Style is being able to use yourself as a canvas. Religiously watching Project Runway was my brand growing up and now its RuPauls drag race. Constructing and putting pieces together while simultaneously developing a temporary identity has been a consistent interest. There’s a stigma that if you care about the way that you present yourself, that you lack substance. But finding different ways to present myself is my substance. I still have to leave my room, even when it’s the last thing I want to do and I might as well feel comfortable with myself. When it feels like I have no control overin anything else, the way I look is something that I have control of.

My hair is an important part of my look, just as important as my clothes, maybe even more important. There’s an obvious expectation in the world of black hair. That expectation is having my hair look a certain way, labeling it as “professional”. Growing up, my mom would always take me to hair beauticians to get my hair done. Having someone always do my hair is such an intimate thing that has taught me about my own hair. I have thick and hard to manage hair. At a point in time, I didn’t find much value in myself and I’ve always wanted to see myself without hair, so bored and frustrated with the same thing. The summer of 2018 I said bye to having a head full of hair. Me shaving my head was one of many times I’ve altered my look but this time, it was something new for me. My hair didn’t grow back the next day, forcing myself not to hide behind my hair. After I shaved my head, I had no choice but to work on my confidence. This was also the time I successfully dyed my hair for the first time wasn’t the only change though. I still had a shaved head.

Personal expression through my appearance represents consistency in a way of me not having to be restrained. I don’t have an established look, just as I don't have an established mindset. I’m constantly evolving and looking at things through many perspectives. I feel like I have to prove a lot of things but with this, I never feel like have to prove myself. I don’t feel like I need to explain myself to anyone. I’m excited to see how my style develops.  

Finding myself has led me to explore different creative outlets over the years such as Louder than a Bomb ( a youth preformative poetry festival), school newspaper photography, drama, and pride club. These experiences have increased my confidence, helped me get out of my comfort zone while being inquisitive within my identity. I look forward to seeking even more creative spaces in a new educational environment.